Saturday, October 23, 2010

Plans. Or lack thereof.

I'm not really famous for my cheery optimism or upbeat attitude.  Since being in San Francisco, however, I've received more compliments on my good work ethic and smiling face than I ever have in my life.  Maybe I'm good at faking it.  Or maybe that's the kind of results (read: happiness?) that you get when you try to do what God asks of you.

I didn't exactly beg God to let me end up in San Francisco after graduating.  In fact, I had a fantastic life plan, and a decent backup plan when that one proved to have failed.  But He asked something different of me and made it so that this was the only thing that worked out.  I had two choices: roll with it, come out here with no assurances on just blind faith, or deny Him and sit around doing nothing.  The choice was clear: this is what He was asking of me, and, no matter how afraid I was or how skeptical I was or how reluctant I was...this was it.  So now, I'm out here without a plan, save to go where He leads when He leads.  (I just pray it doesn't take too long!!)

God's will is a tricky thing.  I spent years discerning and praying for Him to show me His will about a million things.  Sometimes what I discerned was correct, sometimes it wasn't.  But it was always clear when the chips were down.  He doesn't hide His will from us; we hide ourselves from Him.

"Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hoped to hear." - C.S. Lewis

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