Father Z at WDTPRS has a very interesting post and poll about a Christmas ad that targets...Christians?! This prompts the question in my mind: When does "free speech" become "hate speech"? Is there such a thing in America anymore? Why do Catholics allow the media and anti-Christians to walk on us? Why not stand up for our beliefs and make a fuss ourselves? (I had an entry on this last month.) Turning the other cheek is one thing. But even Christ upset tables in the Temple.
God, grant us the grace to never be complacent.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Made for Another World
I have just come to an important realization. I will never - ever - be satisfied. No one can give me what I truly want. I can't win it for myself, nor can it be achieved through luck or hard work. I will never be satisfied.
I want peace. I want happiness. I want joy. I want Love. And only God can fulfill these desires in my heart. Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee. - St. Augustine, "Confessions"
Some things will bring me closer. Others further away. To help myself get to this unattainable-in-this-life goal, I must cling to those things that bring me close to my Goal, and shun those that do not.
When I moved to San Francisco, I missed home terribly. When I got over that, I missed Ave Maria horribly. I visited Ave Maria last weekend and home this weekend. Surprise, surprise...this isn't cutting it either. Certainly there are things or people or experiences along the way that leave me teetering on the edge of what I want, but, in the end, they can only bring me so far. The rest can truly only be filled by Christ's love for me - and my cooperation in that Love.
This is what I strive for. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. - C.S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity"
Sometimes I think that religious life would be easier. I'd get to pray, read, work, and truly do all for the glory of God without the distractions and ho-hum-ness of daily secular life. Being in the world is a trial not easily overcome.
I'm truly thankful (and not just because tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day) for all of my friends who have brought me closer to this ultimate goal, who continue to inspire me to lead a good life, who encourage me when I feel like I can't go on, and who never let me rest when I do something to hinder my progress along the road to salvation. I can only pray that one day, I can return even a small part of this huge favour.
Oremus pro invicem.
I want peace. I want happiness. I want joy. I want Love. And only God can fulfill these desires in my heart. Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee. - St. Augustine, "Confessions"
Some things will bring me closer. Others further away. To help myself get to this unattainable-in-this-life goal, I must cling to those things that bring me close to my Goal, and shun those that do not.
When I moved to San Francisco, I missed home terribly. When I got over that, I missed Ave Maria horribly. I visited Ave Maria last weekend and home this weekend. Surprise, surprise...this isn't cutting it either. Certainly there are things or people or experiences along the way that leave me teetering on the edge of what I want, but, in the end, they can only bring me so far. The rest can truly only be filled by Christ's love for me - and my cooperation in that Love.
This is what I strive for. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. - C.S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity"
Sometimes I think that religious life would be easier. I'd get to pray, read, work, and truly do all for the glory of God without the distractions and ho-hum-ness of daily secular life. Being in the world is a trial not easily overcome.
I'm truly thankful (and not just because tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day) for all of my friends who have brought me closer to this ultimate goal, who continue to inspire me to lead a good life, who encourage me when I feel like I can't go on, and who never let me rest when I do something to hinder my progress along the road to salvation. I can only pray that one day, I can return even a small part of this huge favour.
Oremus pro invicem.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Forgiveness
It is my humble but strong opinion that the words "I forgive you" are the most powerful that can be spoken by a human person. More powerful, even, than "I love you".Forgiveness presupposes profound love, humility, and freedom. It encompasses love entirely. Giving up your own pride and stubbornness, especially about something you yourself are not at fault over, something that you could justify holding onto, but instead choosing the good of another - THEN, you have managed to love as Christ loved.
Even Christ, in His last moments before His glorious death, spent His breath forgiving the penitent thief and granting him eternal life. Love consecrates, but forgiveness redeems.
"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy."
"Father, forgive them; they know not what they do."
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Byzantine Chant
In other news...a friend of mine introduced me to a fantastic internet radio site: Ancient Faith Radio. Lots of fantastic Byzantine chant on there. Check it out!
The Death of My Voice
As a soprano, my throat is of the utmost importance. It's pretty much the only part of me that I cannot tolerate not working properly. Broken arm, ok, I can deal with it. Broken ankle, I'm used to it. Colds, headaches, back pain, ok, I'll live. But a persistent sore throat that has become swollen to the point of me not being able to sing strongly at all, and not make a sound a 6th above middle C? That's a problem. A big one. I went in for choir rehearsal before Mass this morning and couldn't sing at all. It's as if my throat hired an assassin. "HEY, she's been working us too hard again, and we won't stand for it. *whisper whisper whisper*" They planned a sabotage/sting operation whilst I was asleep last week and, unfortunately, my immune system let me down.
I've only had it this bad once before - and that was the beginning of 2010 when I had to go through all sorts of trouble - a specialist, a really expensive look at my throat, steroids, not speaking for a week, then NSAIDs, then strength training, and not singing for a MONTH. Not my idea of fun. So I hope this passes quickly.
Other than the death of my poor throat, it's been a good weekend. No updates to report about the curveballs previously mentioned. Something about the "P" word...what was that again? Oh right, patience. Clearly not one of my virtues!
I've only had it this bad once before - and that was the beginning of 2010 when I had to go through all sorts of trouble - a specialist, a really expensive look at my throat, steroids, not speaking for a week, then NSAIDs, then strength training, and not singing for a MONTH. Not my idea of fun. So I hope this passes quickly.Other than the death of my poor throat, it's been a good weekend. No updates to report about the curveballs previously mentioned. Something about the "P" word...what was that again? Oh right, patience. Clearly not one of my virtues!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Flight Risk
I was a flight risk
With a fear of falling
Wondering why we bother with love
If it never lasts
(Taylor Swift, "Mine")
Every time I wish that something would go right and then STAY that way (and YES, I'm speaking in general, not specifically about love), I remember that God made me a promise. When I was at my lowest, He made me a promise that He had something better in store for me. That I could have been happy with what I was lamenting, but that He had something better. Whenever I say that I can't go on, this promise rings in my ears. He has never let me down before, nor has He ever failed to deliver on a promise He's made. I have no choice but to take everything with a grain of salt (or two), and wait patiently for Him.
My soul is waiting for the Lord, more than watchmen for the daybreak. Let the watchmen count on daybreak, and Israel on the Lord.
(From Psalm 129)
It's not a matter of "if". It's a matter of "when". And I would fail to be faithful to my state in life if I preoccupied myself with the future...or with the past. As Fr. McTeigue always tells me: "Patience is being present to the present." (He also tells me, quite sarcastically: "Don't worry; I just know. Everything will be ooooooooooo-kay! LOL)
According to the multitude of my sorrows in my heart, Thy comforts have given joy to my soul.
(Psalm 93:19)
Joy is an objective reality. Joy is NOT synonymous with happiness. But being joyful is a choice, and a duty. It is a gift from God, and something to be responded to. I'm striving to be the woman that God created me to be...and He certainly didn't create me to be crabby and depressed and edgy all the time. Relapsing into those categories would be, at this point, sinful.
With a fear of falling
Wondering why we bother with love
If it never lasts
(Taylor Swift, "Mine")
Every time I wish that something would go right and then STAY that way (and YES, I'm speaking in general, not specifically about love), I remember that God made me a promise. When I was at my lowest, He made me a promise that He had something better in store for me. That I could have been happy with what I was lamenting, but that He had something better. Whenever I say that I can't go on, this promise rings in my ears. He has never let me down before, nor has He ever failed to deliver on a promise He's made. I have no choice but to take everything with a grain of salt (or two), and wait patiently for Him.
My soul is waiting for the Lord, more than watchmen for the daybreak. Let the watchmen count on daybreak, and Israel on the Lord.
(From Psalm 129)
It's not a matter of "if". It's a matter of "when". And I would fail to be faithful to my state in life if I preoccupied myself with the future...or with the past. As Fr. McTeigue always tells me: "Patience is being present to the present." (He also tells me, quite sarcastically: "Don't worry; I just know. Everything will be ooooooooooo-kay! LOL)
According to the multitude of my sorrows in my heart, Thy comforts have given joy to my soul.
(Psalm 93:19)
Joy is an objective reality. Joy is NOT synonymous with happiness. But being joyful is a choice, and a duty. It is a gift from God, and something to be responded to. I'm striving to be the woman that God created me to be...and He certainly didn't create me to be crabby and depressed and edgy all the time. Relapsing into those categories would be, at this point, sinful.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Suffering
"Impassibilis est Deus, sed non incompassibilis." God cannot suffer, but He can suffer with. - Pope Benedict XVI
As I was walking to work this morning, I began my Rosary. It takes an enormous amount of concentration for me to do this, partially because it's morning and I haven't had coffee yet, and partially because walking through Golden Gate Park, there are so many beautiful things to look at! Consequently, I only got one decade prayed. Today is Tuesday - the Sorrowful Mysteries. As I was walking and praying and meditating, this line from Pope Benedict kept going through my head: Impassibilis est Deus... I began to wonder. How could God NOT suffer? Christ was fully man and fully God, and He seemed to have suffered unthinkable sufferings in the Agony in the Garden, much less through the other events recounted in the Sorrowful Mysteries. He suffered the worst tortures, and died the most horrendous death on the Cross. And Pope Benedict's statement didn't make a lot of sense to me, until I thought about it as a whole: ...sed non incompassibilis.
"Passibilis", Latin, meaning "capable of feeling or suffering, susceptible to emotion"
Im- being a negating prefix
-com- being a linking word to mean "with"
God can not only not suffer, but He is incapable of suffering altogether. He cares so much for mankind, however, that He deigned to descend to earth to suffer alongside our own suffering.
When Christ was agonizing in the Garden of Gethsemane, He saw the sinfulness of mankind in its totality. He agonized with us, on our behalf, not for His own sake. He assumed upon Himself the burden of our offenses.
We are never alone in our suffering. Christ has already suffered-with us...suffered in our stead. How little are our cares and sufferings in comparison to the burden He has shouldered for us. And how ungrateful am I to persevere in my sinfulness, pride, and misery.
As I was walking to work this morning, I began my Rosary. It takes an enormous amount of concentration for me to do this, partially because it's morning and I haven't had coffee yet, and partially because walking through Golden Gate Park, there are so many beautiful things to look at! Consequently, I only got one decade prayed. Today is Tuesday - the Sorrowful Mysteries. As I was walking and praying and meditating, this line from Pope Benedict kept going through my head: Impassibilis est Deus... I began to wonder. How could God NOT suffer? Christ was fully man and fully God, and He seemed to have suffered unthinkable sufferings in the Agony in the Garden, much less through the other events recounted in the Sorrowful Mysteries. He suffered the worst tortures, and died the most horrendous death on the Cross. And Pope Benedict's statement didn't make a lot of sense to me, until I thought about it as a whole: ...sed non incompassibilis.
"Passibilis", Latin, meaning "capable of feeling or suffering, susceptible to emotion"
Im- being a negating prefix
-com- being a linking word to mean "with"
God can not only not suffer, but He is incapable of suffering altogether. He cares so much for mankind, however, that He deigned to descend to earth to suffer alongside our own suffering.
When Christ was agonizing in the Garden of Gethsemane, He saw the sinfulness of mankind in its totality. He agonized with us, on our behalf, not for His own sake. He assumed upon Himself the burden of our offenses.
We are never alone in our suffering. Christ has already suffered-with us...suffered in our stead. How little are our cares and sufferings in comparison to the burden He has shouldered for us. And how ungrateful am I to persevere in my sinfulness, pride, and misery.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Curveballs, Fire, and Critique
I am copying Meryl's blog format for this post. You will find below three sections. 1) My life, 2) A reflection on Purgatory, and 3) Something controversial.
SECTION ONE: Baseball on the mind...?
God likes to throw odd pitches to me at very strategic times, I've noticed. Maybe He thinks I'm a good hitter and wants to challenge me...maybe it's a warning to say I should look out...maybe it's a test...maybe it's just Him laughing at me. I don't know. Sometimes He throws a curveball and I don't anticipate it (or know how to swing!), and sometimes He'll throw a slider and I'll basically run into the ground. Whatever it is, it means that He's telling me something. Oh, that I had ears to hear!
I got a pitch thrown at me recently, and it's in slow motion, so I'm not even sure if it IS a curveball. All I know is that God is true to His word. He told me that He has my life worked out for me. So I guess I should stop worrying about the pitch and let Him tell me whether or not to swing instead of analyzing it from a thousand different angles. Cooperation is the key.
SECTION TWO: A little more serious.
In dealing with frustrating situations, knowing that cooperation with God's grace and the situations in which I find myself can be directed toward a greater End: the greater glory of God and the salvation of my soul and of those souls around me. It's important to remember that every action, every thought, every inclination, will be examined on the day of Judgment. Everything will lead us further from Christ or closer to Him. And we'll have to give an account of everything...EVERYTHING...at the end of our lives. Modern society likes to tell us that there are no consequences, no rules, and nothing to worry about during life, and that there's nothing awaiting us after we die. The Church knows something different...consequences are real, rules effectively gives us freedom rather than slavery, and that, after we pass from this fleeting life...there is Heaven or Hell forever.
This morning, Canon Jean-Marie Moreau, ICKSP, gave a homily that was nothing short of shocking. It's the month of November (in your charity, please stop reading and say a prayer for the poor souls in Purgatory. Pater Noster...Ave Maria...Gloria Patri...), so Father preached on the reality of Purgatory. He said that the fire we know here on earth is a fire that was created for our convenience: cooking, heating, purifying, etc. The fires in Purgatory are the same as the fires in Hell. They were created for our inconvenience, for punishment. The souls in Purgatory yearn to be relieved of their suffering and to be united with God. They can no longer help themselves while they are in Purgatory. They rely on OUR prayers.
SECTION THREE: Some of you may not like this....
...but I've been reading Alice von Hildebrand's critique on Christopher West's take on A Theology of the Body, the popular work by Pope John Paul II on the meaning of human sexuality and love, and its relation to the Divine Persons. Having read both the TOB (for a class at Ave Maria) and Alice von Hildebrand's critique, I very much recommend it to you. The reason I bring this up at all is because I've gotten a few emails from an FSSP priest with various different resources on thoughts of the TOB. (Side Note: He highly recommends reading St. Teresa of Avila's Interior Castle or St. Francis de Sales' Introduction to the Devout Life instead. I must agree with him; trying to explore such mysteries without careful thought, great wisdom, and constant guidance is very dangerous. Spiritual reading by the Doctors of the Church and the mystics is more edifying, tried-and-true, and conducive to salvation.) However, if you are a TOB fan (or not!), you may find Mrs. von Hildebrand's reflections to be thought-provoking and beneficial to your own understanding. You can find the link here.
SECTION ONE: Baseball on the mind...?
God likes to throw odd pitches to me at very strategic times, I've noticed. Maybe He thinks I'm a good hitter and wants to challenge me...maybe it's a warning to say I should look out...maybe it's a test...maybe it's just Him laughing at me. I don't know. Sometimes He throws a curveball and I don't anticipate it (or know how to swing!), and sometimes He'll throw a slider and I'll basically run into the ground. Whatever it is, it means that He's telling me something. Oh, that I had ears to hear!
I got a pitch thrown at me recently, and it's in slow motion, so I'm not even sure if it IS a curveball. All I know is that God is true to His word. He told me that He has my life worked out for me. So I guess I should stop worrying about the pitch and let Him tell me whether or not to swing instead of analyzing it from a thousand different angles. Cooperation is the key.
SECTION TWO: A little more serious.
In dealing with frustrating situations, knowing that cooperation with God's grace and the situations in which I find myself can be directed toward a greater End: the greater glory of God and the salvation of my soul and of those souls around me. It's important to remember that every action, every thought, every inclination, will be examined on the day of Judgment. Everything will lead us further from Christ or closer to Him. And we'll have to give an account of everything...EVERYTHING...at the end of our lives. Modern society likes to tell us that there are no consequences, no rules, and nothing to worry about during life, and that there's nothing awaiting us after we die. The Church knows something different...consequences are real, rules effectively gives us freedom rather than slavery, and that, after we pass from this fleeting life...there is Heaven or Hell forever.
This morning, Canon Jean-Marie Moreau, ICKSP, gave a homily that was nothing short of shocking. It's the month of November (in your charity, please stop reading and say a prayer for the poor souls in Purgatory. Pater Noster...Ave Maria...Gloria Patri...), so Father preached on the reality of Purgatory. He said that the fire we know here on earth is a fire that was created for our convenience: cooking, heating, purifying, etc. The fires in Purgatory are the same as the fires in Hell. They were created for our inconvenience, for punishment. The souls in Purgatory yearn to be relieved of their suffering and to be united with God. They can no longer help themselves while they are in Purgatory. They rely on OUR prayers.
SECTION THREE: Some of you may not like this....
...but I've been reading Alice von Hildebrand's critique on Christopher West's take on A Theology of the Body, the popular work by Pope John Paul II on the meaning of human sexuality and love, and its relation to the Divine Persons. Having read both the TOB (for a class at Ave Maria) and Alice von Hildebrand's critique, I very much recommend it to you. The reason I bring this up at all is because I've gotten a few emails from an FSSP priest with various different resources on thoughts of the TOB. (Side Note: He highly recommends reading St. Teresa of Avila's Interior Castle or St. Francis de Sales' Introduction to the Devout Life instead. I must agree with him; trying to explore such mysteries without careful thought, great wisdom, and constant guidance is very dangerous. Spiritual reading by the Doctors of the Church and the mystics is more edifying, tried-and-true, and conducive to salvation.) However, if you are a TOB fan (or not!), you may find Mrs. von Hildebrand's reflections to be thought-provoking and beneficial to your own understanding. You can find the link here.
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