Flight Risk

I was a flight risk
With a fear of falling
Wondering why we bother with love
If it never lasts
(Taylor Swift, "Mine")

Every time I wish that something would go right and then STAY that way (and YES, I'm speaking in general, not specifically about love), I remember that God made me a promise.  When I was at my lowest, He made me a promise that He had something better in store for me.  That I could have been happy with what I was lamenting, but that He had something better.  Whenever I say that I can't go on, this promise rings in my ears.  He has never let me down before, nor has He ever failed to deliver on a promise He's made.  I have no choice but to take everything with a grain of salt (or two), and wait patiently for Him.

My soul is waiting for the Lord, more than watchmen for the daybreak.  Let the watchmen count on daybreak, and Israel on the Lord.
(From Psalm 129)

It's not a matter of "if".  It's a matter of "when".  And I would fail to be faithful to my state in life if I preoccupied myself with the future...or with the past.  As Fr. McTeigue always tells me: "Patience is being present to the present."  (He also tells me, quite sarcastically: "Don't worry; I just know.  Everything will be ooooooooooo-kay!  LOL)

According to the multitude of my sorrows in my heart, Thy comforts have given joy to my soul.
(Psalm 93:19)

Joy is an objective reality.  Joy is NOT synonymous with happiness.  But being joyful is a choice, and a duty.  It is a gift from God, and something to be responded to.  I'm striving to be the woman that God created me to be...and He certainly didn't create me to be crabby and depressed and edgy all the time.  Relapsing into those categories would be, at this point, sinful.