Hosana filio David...

The same crowd of Jews spreading palm branches out one day, crying "Hosanna to the Son of David...blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord", "Benedictus qui venit in nomine Domini", are the same to haughtily scream and clamour: "Crucifigatur"...let Him be crucified.

And how we resemble them.

We glorify and follow God as it is convenient for us.  We do what we want when we want it.  If it strikes our fancy to adhere to what we know is right, we'll do it, and pat ourselves on the back for our fidelity to Divine Law.  (Benedictus...)  But the clock ticks, the hours pass, and the Truth of Christ is no longer convenient, no longer comfortable.  We decide that it's easier to get rid of the One telling us this inconvenient Truth.  (Crucifigatur.)  --(Thanks to Fr. C.M. for inspiring these thoughts by preaching on the inconvenience of Truth.)--

When we decide that Truth, that Christ, is enough for us, and that we are willing to pay any price or make any sacrifice to remain loyal to Him, we will be able to accept the Resurrection and life which inevitably follows the Cross upon which we have thrown Him.

What Matters Most

Often times, we're taken off guard in life - we're so set in our ways and theories and our comfort zone that when something radical is asked of us, we shy away.  Unless even the surprise catches us by surprise.  Sometimes the most natural inclinations and intuitions we have toward a situation (fight, flight, or anything in between) are what are most true.  Fr. McTeigue has long told me that being patient is merely being present to the present, enjoying (or enduring) what is right in front of us, labouring neither over the past nor worrying about the future.  For someone as serious-minded, meticulous, and detail-oriented as myself, I am naturally disinclined to follow such logic.  I worry about almost everything.  But then God comes along and reminds me that He already knows how things are going to turn out, that everything happens for a reason, and that joys and sorrows alike are hand-picked by Him for my salvation.  What matters most is responding to the grace He offers when He offers it.  It's easy to put it off, to "think about it" for a while, and to delay making a decision.  But, to take St. Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus (the one to whom God Almighty entrusted both His Son and His most precious creature, Mary) for an example...when the Holy Ghost acted in his soul, he moved.  Without question, without hesitation, no matter how bizarre the request.  He acted on it wholeheartedly, without delay.  And so should we act.  Responsiveness to God's grace in our lives is crucial.  Whether it's a conversation in passing, a "debate", a meaningful friendship, however it manifests itself, recognizing and pursuing the Truth is something God offers us on a daily basis.  If we have the ears to hear and the eyes to see...let us pray for the courage to act.

Megan's Optimism

I've been all up-in-arms lately about all the negative things happening, so it's time for an entry I've been meaning to post and haven't had the time to sit down and write about all the positive that's happened to/for me.  So here I go.

God has been so good to me.  Seriously, He's taking care of me.  He knows what He's doing, and has deemed it best that I, apparently, don't.  And for the first time in my life, I think I'm ok with that.  I'm ok with not knowing what will come next.  I'm ok with not knowing what I'll be doing this time next year.  I'm ok with being in this cramped city with crazy people running around everywhere.  I'm ok with my emotional and personal state of being.  I'm ok with having little more than my job, a few friends, and my God.  Because this is where He's asked me to be, this is where I'll stay until He leads me elsewhere, and this is what He's given me; no more and no less.  I have what I have because He, in His knowledge, mercy, justice, wisdom, and love, has deemed it necessary that I have it.  I do not have what I do not because He knows it is better for me to either wait or do without.  I know this sounds uncharacteristic of me, so here are a couple of concrete reasons why all of this is suddenly ok...

1) The Gift of True Friendship.  I have the most fantastic friends in all the world, because nearly all of them are rooted first and foremost in Christ.  We pray Rosaries, go to Mass, talk theology and philosophy, and have edifying conversations about current world issues.  How many people can boast of such a gift?  But I can say with confidence that I will not take this gift for granted again; I've had to walk away from one such gift.  But God, in His infinite mercy (again!) has seen it fit to allow this friendship to begin anew.  The knowledge that we can once again be friends, base our friendship in the Lord, and walk the path of life together, hopefully leading each other closer to salvation with each step, brings great joy and peace to me.  Even with my friends in seminary to whom I can only talk on occasion (or not at all, in the case of my dear brother Nick!), I know that the bond between us is stronger than the friendships between most people, because they're rooted as deeply as a human friendship can go - in Christ Himself.  I'm so blessed, so grateful, for each of these wonderful people.  I really can't put it in any other way.

2) The Gift of Giving.  I spent a good amount of time this summer writing a single piece of music.  It came to me phrase by phrase, parts of it just the melody, parts in a whole choral texture.  I wrote this piece of music to St. Ignatius Loyola's challenging prayer known as the Suscipe for the occasion of my Jesuit spiritual director's final vows ceremony.  I was able to sing in the choir that provided the music for the Mass, and the choir graciously agreed to sing my piece.  It went very well, and I was pleased with it, but having Father come up to me later and express his gratitude really touched me; giving a gift to someone truly is its own reward.  Another example of this: a coworker recently suggested that we get a group together to go Christmas caroling at a nursing home in the city.  I agreed to help out, but spent the day yesterday hoping it wouldn't work so I could go home after work.  Thankfully, that didn't happen.  We went around the nursing home singing, and seeing the expressions on the men's and women's faces as we went around was such a joy.  I feel like I got more out of it than they did.  Watching the bedridden tap their toes to our songs of Christ's birth was one of the most rewarding things I've done in a while.  And it was a corporal work of mercy, too!  God gives us so many opportunities to love others and share His love, so many opportunities for grace, that we often shrug our shoulders, as I did earlier yesterday, and shuffle along our own "merry" ways, and completely miss the gifts He is, in reality, offering to US!

3) The Gift of Reason.  People try to use reason against Catholics, saying that belief in Catholicism (or in God at all), is irrational, unrealistic, etc.  I won't go into all the reasons that I've come to believe and be convinced of my faith THROUGH my reason, logic, rationality, study, et alii, as that would take hours, days, even years to communicate, and possibly never exhaustively, but I will say that, in relation to me being ok with God taking His time in revealing His will to me, I won't fight it because I know I can't.  I know in my heart that He is in control, and that I must surrender myself to the guidance of His holy will.  With His love and grace, I am rich enough, and I will ask for nothing more.  Things will happen when He sees that it is best.  And not before then.  No sense in worrying myself.

So that's the nutshell version of why I'm suddenly deciding that I need to be patient and trusting.  (Funny thing about patience, by the way - every time I pray for this particular virtue, God gives me moooore than enough times to practice it.  I usually fail.)  Now let's see if I can keep it up.  But I can say with confidence that I have seen much fruit from it already, and that omnia possum in eo qui me confortat - I can do all things through Him Who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

I can't end this post without mentioning Our Blessed Lady on the Feast of her Immaculate Conception (December 8).  If  you're reading this, remember that it is a Holy Day of Obligation - Ita ad Missam!  Go to Mass!

(On another note...it's amazing how much can happen in a year.  I can only hope that the next year proves as beneficial as this year has.  Fiat.  Deo gratias.)

--ad majorem Dei gloriam et animam salutem.--

Made for Another World

I have just come to an important realization.  I will never - ever - be satisfied.  No one can give me what I truly want.  I can't win it for myself, nor can it be achieved through luck or hard work.  I will never be satisfied.

I want peace.  I want happiness.  I want joy.  I want Love.  And only God can fulfill these desires in my heart.  Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee. - St. Augustine, "Confessions"

Some things will bring me closer.  Others further away.  To help myself get to this unattainable-in-this-life goal, I must cling to those things that bring me close to my Goal, and shun those that do not.

When I moved to San Francisco, I missed home terribly.  When I got over that, I missed Ave Maria horribly.  I visited Ave Maria last weekend and home this weekend.  Surprise, surprise...this isn't cutting it either.  Certainly there are things or people or experiences along the way that leave me teetering on the edge of what I want, but, in the end, they can only bring me so far.  The rest can truly only be filled by Christ's love for me - and my cooperation in that Love.

This is what I strive for.  If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. - C.S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity"

Sometimes I think that religious life would be easier.  I'd get to pray, read, work, and truly do all for the glory of God without the distractions and ho-hum-ness of daily secular life.  Being in the world is a trial not easily overcome. 

I'm truly thankful (and not just because tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day) for all of my friends who have brought me closer to this ultimate goal, who continue to inspire me to lead a good life, who encourage me when I feel like I can't go on, and who never let me rest when I do something to hinder my progress along the road to salvation.  I can only pray that one day, I can return even a small part of this huge favour.

Oremus pro invicem.

Forgiveness

It is my humble but strong opinion that the words "I forgive you" are the most powerful that can be spoken by a human person.  More powerful, even, than "I love you".

Forgiveness presupposes profound love, humility, and freedom.  It encompasses love entirely.  Giving up your own pride and stubbornness, especially about something you yourself are not at fault over, something that you could justify holding onto, but instead choosing the good of another - THEN, you have managed to love as Christ loved.

Even Christ, in His last moments before His glorious death, spent His breath forgiving the penitent thief and granting him eternal life.  Love consecrates, but forgiveness redeems.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy."

"Father, forgive them; they know not what they do."

Suffering

"Impassibilis est Deus, sed non incompassibilis." God cannot suffer, but He can suffer with. - Pope Benedict XVI


As I was walking to work this morning, I began my Rosary.  It takes an enormous amount of concentration for me to do this, partially because it's morning and I haven't had coffee yet, and partially because walking through Golden Gate Park, there are so many beautiful things to look at!  Consequently, I only got one decade prayed.  Today is Tuesday - the Sorrowful Mysteries.  As I was walking and praying and meditating, this line from Pope Benedict kept going through my head: Impassibilis est Deus...  I began to wonder.  How could God NOT suffer?  Christ was fully man and fully God, and He seemed to have suffered unthinkable sufferings in the Agony in the Garden, much less through the other events recounted in the Sorrowful Mysteries.  He suffered the worst tortures, and died the most horrendous death on the Cross.  And Pope Benedict's statement didn't make a lot of sense to me, until I thought about it as a whole: ...sed non incompassibilis.


"Passibilis", Latin, meaning "capable of feeling or suffering, susceptible to emotion"
Im- being a negating prefix
-com- being a linking word to mean "with"


God can not only not suffer, but He is incapable of suffering altogether.  He cares so much for mankind, however, that He deigned to descend to earth to suffer alongside our own suffering.


When Christ was agonizing in the Garden of Gethsemane, He saw the sinfulness of mankind in its totality.  He agonized with us, on our behalf, not for His own sake.  He assumed upon Himself the burden of our offenses.


We are never alone in our suffering.  Christ has already suffered-with us...suffered in our stead.  How little are our cares and sufferings in comparison to the burden He has shouldered for us.  And how ungrateful am I to persevere in my sinfulness, pride, and misery.

Curveballs, Fire, and Critique

I am copying Meryl's blog format for this post.  You will find below three sections.  1) My life, 2) A reflection on Purgatory, and 3) Something controversial.

SECTION ONE: Baseball on the mind...?

God likes to throw odd pitches to me at very strategic times, I've noticed.  Maybe He thinks I'm a good hitter and wants to challenge me...maybe it's a warning to say I should look out...maybe it's a test...maybe it's just Him laughing at me.  I don't know.  Sometimes He throws a curveball and I don't anticipate it (or know how to swing!), and sometimes He'll throw a slider and I'll basically run into the ground.  Whatever it is, it means that He's telling me something.  Oh, that I had ears to hear!

I got a pitch thrown at me recently, and it's in slow motion, so I'm not even sure if it IS a curveball.  All I know is that God is true to His word.  He told me that He has my life worked out for me.  So I guess I should stop worrying about the pitch and let Him tell me whether or not to swing instead of analyzing it from a thousand different angles.  Cooperation is the key.

SECTION TWO: A little more serious.

In dealing with frustrating situations, knowing that cooperation with God's grace and the situations in which I find myself can be directed toward a greater End: the greater glory of God and the salvation of my soul and of those souls around me.  It's important to remember that every action, every thought, every inclination, will be examined on the day of Judgment.  Everything will lead us further from Christ or closer to Him.  And we'll have to give an account of everything...EVERYTHING...at the end of our lives.  Modern society likes to tell us that there are no consequences, no rules, and nothing to worry about during life, and that there's nothing awaiting us after we die.  The Church knows something different...consequences are real, rules effectively gives us freedom rather than slavery, and that, after we pass from this fleeting life...there is Heaven or Hell forever.

This morning, Canon Jean-Marie Moreau, ICKSP, gave a homily that was nothing short of shocking.  It's the month of November (in your charity, please stop reading and say a prayer for the poor souls in Purgatory.  Pater Noster...Ave Maria...Gloria Patri...), so Father preached on the reality of Purgatory.  He said that the fire we know here on earth is a fire that was created for our convenience: cooking, heating, purifying, etc.  The fires in Purgatory are the same as the fires in Hell.  They were created for our inconvenience, for punishment.  The souls in Purgatory yearn to be relieved of their suffering and to be united with God. They can no longer help themselves while they are in Purgatory.  They rely on OUR prayers.

SECTION THREE: Some of you may not like this....

...but I've been reading Alice von Hildebrand's critique on Christopher West's take on A Theology of the Body, the popular work by Pope John Paul II on the meaning of human sexuality and love, and its relation to the Divine Persons.  Having read both the TOB (for a class at Ave Maria) and Alice von Hildebrand's critique, I very much recommend it to you.  The reason I bring this up at all is because I've gotten a few emails from an FSSP priest with various different resources on thoughts of the TOB.  (Side Note: He highly recommends reading St. Teresa of Avila's Interior Castle or St. Francis de Sales' Introduction to the Devout Life instead.  I must agree with him; trying to explore such mysteries without careful thought, great wisdom, and constant guidance is very dangerous.  Spiritual reading by the Doctors of the Church and the mystics is more edifying, tried-and-true, and conducive to salvation.)  However, if you are a TOB fan (or not!), you may find Mrs. von Hildebrand's reflections to be thought-provoking and beneficial to your own understanding.  You can find the link here.

The Pope's Message for Lent

Though it was published 4-Feb, I found it a little late.  Good thing Lent is so long.  This is the Pope's message:

From Zenit:

 Dear Brothers and Sisters!

Each year, on the occasion of Lent, the Church invites us to a sincere review of our life in light of the teachings of the Gospel. This year, I would like to offer you some reflections on the great theme of justice, beginning from the Pauline affirmation: "The justice of God has been manifested through faith in Jesus Christ" (cf. Rm 3, 21-22).

Justice: "dare cuique suum"

First of all, I want to consider the meaning of the term "justice," which in common usage implies "to render to every man his due," according to the famous expression of Ulpian, a Roman jurist of the third century. In reality, however, this classical definition does not specify what "due" is to be rendered to each person. What man needs most cannot be guaranteed to him by law. In order to live life to the full, something more intimate is necessary that can be granted only as a gift: we could say that man lives by that love which only God can communicate since He created the human person in His image and likeness. Material goods are certainly useful and required – indeed Jesus Himself was concerned to heal the sick, feed the crowds that followed Him and surely condemns the indifference that even today forces hundreds of millions into death through lack of food, water and medicine – yet "distributive" justice does not render to the human being the totality of his "due." Just as man needs bread, so does man have even more need of God. Saint Augustine notes: if "justice is that virtue which gives every one his due ... where, then, is the justice of man, when he deserts the true God?" (De civitate Dei, XIX, 21).

What is the Cause of Injustice?

The Evangelist Mark reports the following words of Jesus, which are inserted within the debate at that time regarding what is pure and impure: "There is nothing outside a man which by going into him can defile him; but the things which come out of a man are what defile him … What comes out of a man is what defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts" (Mk 7, 14-15, 20-21). Beyond the immediate question concerning food, we can detect in the reaction of the Pharisees a permanent temptation within man: to situate the origin of evil in an exterior cause. Many modern ideologies deep down have this presupposition: since injustice comes "from outside," in order for justice to reign, it is sufficient to remove the exterior causes that prevent it being achieved. This way of thinking – Jesus warns – is ingenuous and shortsighted. Injustice, the fruit of evil, does not have exclusively external roots; its origin lies in the human heart, where the seeds are found of a mysterious cooperation with evil. With bitterness the Psalmist recognises this: "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me" (Ps 51,7). Indeed, man is weakened by an intense influence, which wounds his capacity to enter into communion with the other.

By nature, he is open to sharing freely, but he finds in his being a strange force of gravity that makes him turn in and affirm himself above and against others: this is egoism, the result of original sin. Adam and Eve, seduced by Satan’s lie, snatching the mysterious fruit against the divine command, replaced the logic of trusting in Love with that of suspicion and competition; the logic of receiving and trustfully expecting from the Other with anxiously seizing and doing on one’s own (cf. Gn 3, 1-6), experiencing, as a consequence, a sense of disquiet and uncertainty. How can man free himself from this selfish influence and open himself to love?

Justice and Sedaqah

At the heart of the wisdom of Israel, we find a profound link between faith in God who "lifts the needy from the ash heap" (Ps 113,7) and justice towards one’s neighbor. The Hebrew word itself that indicates the virtue of justice, sedaqah, expresses this well. Sedaqah, in fact, signifies on the one hand full acceptance of the will of the God of Israel; on the other hand, equity in relation to one’s neighbour (cf. Ex 20, 12-17), especially the poor, the stranger, the orphan and the widow (cf. Dt 10, 18-19). But the two meanings are linked because giving to the poor for the Israelite is none other than restoring what is owed to God, who had pity on the misery of His people. It was not by chance that the gift to Moses of the tablets of the Law on Mount Sinai took place after the crossing of the Red Sea. Listening to the Law presupposes faith in God who first "heard the cry" of His people and "came down to deliver them out of hand of the Egyptians" (cf. Ex 3,8). God is attentive to the cry of the poor and in return asks to be listened to: He asks for justice towards the poor (cf. Sir 4,4-5, 8-9), the stranger (cf. Ex 22,20), the slave (cf. Dt 15, 12-18). In order to enter into justice, it is thus necessary to leave that illusion of self-sufficiency, the profound state of closure, which is the very origin of injustice. In other words, what is needed is an even deeper "exodus" than that accomplished by God with Moses, a liberation of the heart, which the Law on its own is powerless to realize. Does man have any hope of justice then?

Christ, the Justice of God

The Christian Good News responds positively to man’s thirst for justice, as Saint Paul affirms in the Letter to the Romans: "But now the justice of God has been manifested apart from law … the justice of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction; since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, they are justified by His grace as a gift, through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as an expiation by his blood, to be received by faith" (3, 21-25).

What then is the justice of Christ? Above all, it is the justice that comes from grace, where it is not man who makes amends, heals himself and others. The fact that "expiation" flows from the "blood" of Christ signifies that it is not man’s sacrifices that free him from the weight of his faults, but the loving act of God who opens Himself in the extreme, even to the point of bearing in Himself the "curse" due to man so as to give in return the "blessing" due to God (cf. Gal 3, 13-14). But this raises an immediate objection: what kind of justice is this where the just man dies for the guilty and the guilty receives in return the blessing due to the just one? Would this not mean that each one receives the contrary of his "due"? In reality, here we discover divine justice, which is so profoundly different from its human counterpart. God has paid for us the price of the exchange in His Son, a price that is truly exorbitant. Before the justice of the Cross, man may rebel for this reveals how man is not a self-sufficient being, but in need of Another in order to realize himself fully. Conversion to Christ, believing in the Gospel, ultimately means this: to exit the illusion of self-sufficiency in order to discover and accept one’s own need – the need of others and God, the need of His forgiveness and His friendship. So we understand how faith is altogether different from a natural, good-feeling, obvious fact: humility is required to accept that I need Another to free me from "what is mine," to give me gratuitously "what is His." This happens especially in the sacraments of Reconciliation and the Eucharist. Thanks to Christ’s action, we may enter into the "greatest" justice, which is that of love (cf. Rm 13, 8-10), the justice that recognises itself in every case more a debtor than a creditor, because it has received more than could ever have been expected.

Strengthened by this very experience, the Christian is moved to contribute to creating just societies, where all receive what is necessary to live according to the dignity proper to the human person and where justice is enlivened by love.

Dear brothers and sisters, Lent culminates in the Paschal Triduum, in which this year, too, we shall celebrate divine justice – the fullness of charity, gift, salvation. May this penitential season be for every Christian a time of authentic conversion and intense knowledge of the mystery of Christ, who came to fulfill every justice. With these sentiments, I cordially impart to all of you my Apostolic Blessing.
From the Vatican, 30 October 2009

BENEDICTUS PP. XVI

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